Here’s another solid tip you can use everyday.

It’s part of The New Man Life online course which closes it’s doors today.

Again, TODAY is the last day you can sign up.

So click here to learn more and register for The New Man Life.

Now for the tip…

Many of my coaching clients are feeling lost. They say things like…

“I’m f’n tired and confused and EMBARRASSED…

…I don’t even know what I want. I *should* have a vision, right? I *should* know what I want to do, right?”

And I can relate. I’ve certainly been there. It just isn’t very ‘manly’ to admit feeling lost.

But here’s the flipside — Later in the conversation, this same guy can go on a tirade of complaints.

“These f’n people I work with are idiots.”

“I’m sick of the boring, repetitive work I do.”

“I’m so tired of my house being a human barn.”

“And don’t get me started on my relationship. My sex life is on life support.”

Sound familiar?

We all know this complaining is non-productive. It’s draining. It even has a tendency to drive caring friends and family away with its toxicity.

But I see a silver lining to this cloud of complaints

I believe that underneath the complaint is a DESIRE. An ideal. Something you want.

This same guy — the one who is freaked out and embarrassed because he doesn’t know what he wants — actually DOES know what he wants. He just doesn’t see it.

Let me explain.

The complaint tells us that whatever IS happening is NOT lined up with what he wants.

Somewhere in there is a desired outcome. And because reality isn’t lining up with this desired outcome, he complains.

On the other hand, if reality was lined up with his desired outcome, he’d be cool. There would be no complaint.

So my challenge for this guy is to turn his complaint into a request.

Let’s do a little archaeology and reveal his ideal, his desired outcome.

A conversation with him might look like this…

If you don’t like working with “idiots”, who do you want to work with?

“Cooperative, creative, fun and open-minded people.”

If you’re sick of the kind of work you’re doing, then what kind of work would be satisfying?

“Something engaging, fun and challenging. I want a variety of responsibilities. And I want to be free to make decisions as I see fit.”

What about your “human barn”?

“I want to live in a clean, orderly place. I want my home to be a sanctuary.”

Your relationship? Your sex life?

“I want my partner and I to support one another. I want us to have fun again. I want us to find ways to play. And I want to feel desired. I want to know that I turn her on — that she wants me as much as I want her.”

Now we’ve got something to work with. At this point, the ideals are pretty general, but they’re a solid place to start.

I want to emphasize a big point…

This is how a VISION is created.

Taking this conversation deeper, the next steps — the next *baby* steps — will emerge.

And as his coach, I’ll hold him accountable to actually follow through. Progress will be made.

So the big lesson?

Instead of getting mired in the dead end of the complaint, use it. Recognize that the complaint is really a request in disguise. Get curious about the complaint and clarify what you do want.

It’s right under your nose.

We’ll be discussing ideas like this as part of The New Man Life online training.

You’ll have the opportunity to interact with me on the call as well.

Click here to register for The New Man Life online training.

Again, today is the LAST DAY. The course starts tomorrow evening.

I hope to talk with you then,

Tripp

PS Click here to learn more and to register for The New Man Life online training.

Podcast: Download

I love power trios.

Star Wars. Bands like Rush and The Police. Moe, Larry and Curly. The hosts of Top Gear (UK).

But this may be the most powerful power trio yet — and it’ll help if you can’t seem to gain momentum when you’re in the fog.

It’s based on Michael Gerber’s legendary business book The E-Myth. And it applies to your personal life as well.

In order to have a kickass life…

You’ve got to have the three following “mindsets”:

• The Visionary
• The Manager, and
• The Technician

Lemme explain.

The Visionary wakes up everyday and asks the big questions, “Where is my life headed? What do I truly care about? With the limited time I have on this planet, what do I want to experience?”

As his name suggests, The Visionary provides the vision and values that give your life direction. He’s not concerned with limitations or details. He’s not concerned with “how” it’ll happen. He’s all about the big picture.

The good news?

You don’t have to wait for a near death experience to hear this voice.

If you’re struggling to find a sense of purpose…

Or establish what you want, then it’s time to upgrade your Visionary.

Next is the Manager.

His job is to listen to the Visionary and make a plan. He says, “Ok, Visionary. I get the big picture, now let’s make it a reality. What resources will be needed? Let’s lay out the dots to be connected.”

The Manager serves the Visionary. He’s the man with the plan. He manages resources and prioritizes effort. He focuses on the “how”.

If you chronically struggle to find time, energy or money…

to make things happen then you’ll want to upgrade your Manager.

Which brings us to the Technician. Sometimes I call this guy the Soldier. He’s there to simply take orders. He connects the dots. He’s in the trenches getting stuff done.

Now hear this — The Technician only responds to clear direction. Orders for this guy must be measurable and have a deadline. If you give this guy anything ambiguous then it doesn’t get done.

Remember, he’s not a Manager or a Visionary. So don’t give him those responsibilities.

When I meet guys who are struggling…

Most of the time it’s because their Technician is the one running their life. This is bad news.

Exhausted and confused, this guy doesn’t have a clear direction. His life isn’t based on anything meaningful. And when he looks at this steaming pile of “ugh”, he throws his hands up and waits for someone to tell him what to do.

Usually in front of the TV.

So we can’t expect to have any direction without a Visionary.

We can’t expect to get anywhere without clear orders from the Manager.

And we can’t expect to get anything done without the Technician in the trenches.

So what will you do today…

to empower your Visionary, Manager and Technician?

How will you employ these mindsets to take the lead in your life?

Let’s put this into action.

I’ll be talking more about this on The New Man Life course presented by Brian Johnson’s Academy for Optimal Living. CLICK HERE to learn more about the course that is starting soon.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Tripp

PS Again CLICK HERE to check out The New Man Life course presented by the Academy for Optimal Living.

“I just don’t know what to do,” Tom* said. Tom is a coaching client of mine.

“I’m tired of living here. My job is a joke. My wife and I want to start over. We’ve got our two boys. But I just don’t know what to do.”

The pressure felt immense.

Tom could see the current chapter of his life was coming to an end. He had no clue what the next chapter would bring. He was drained and scared.

So I asked him, “Well, what do you want to do?”

Tom could only talk about scenarios with doomsday endings. His creative gears were gummed up with a catastrophic concoction of analysis paralysis, fear and resistance.

I asked him again, “Ok. But for a moment, can we put aside all of the end-of-the-world crap and simply clarify what you want?”

I drove it home with…

“What are you afraid to admit that you want?”

Something clicked.

Tom began telling me about how he wanted to move his family to a quiet community a few hours into the mountains. Good schools, good people. Spacious living. Stuff to do on the weekends other than going to the mall. A quality life.

He felt relieved to get it out.

You see, Tom knew what he wanted all along. But this desire was being eclipsed by his fear.

I pointed this out and he said, “I do that all the time! What the heck is that all about? Why does that happen?”

Big You. Little You.

I told him, “Inside of you is a Big Tom and a Little Tom. The Little Tom is only concerned with safety, comfort and predictability. Little Tom has no interest in discomfort or ambiguity. He only sees the world in terms of what he can and cannot control. When you let Little Tom run the show, your life is flat. There’s no growth. It’s groundhog day.

You’re living — dying? — in a box.

“Now Big Tom is different. Big Tom is on this planet to explore, to live, to share, to give, to express. Big Tom has dreams and a vision and a fire for being alive. Big Tom is the guy that hired me as your coach. Big Tom is the guy that wants your life to be a meaningful adventure.”

The Moon and the Sun

I continued, “So think about our Moon and the Sun. If we only saw things from one perspective, we would believe that the Moon and the Sun are the same size. In fact, from our vantage point, the Moon eclipses the Sun.”

“Now we know, the Sun is many, many, many times larger than our Moon. But from this fixed perspective we can’t really grasp the truth.”

“So you run into danger when you believe Little Tom is in the same league as Big Tom. You’re allowing Little Tom — your fear — to eclipse the much, much bigger part of you. The end result is your flaccid, stifled and drained life. At least that’s what happens to me.”

We both laughed.

Tom loved the Moon/Sun metaphor. He could see how he was letting his smaller fears completely eclipse this much bigger part of him that wanted to shine through.

While his fears were still there, they weren’t so big anymore. He had a new perspective.

Moving forward, I helped him to access Big Tom. When he slipped into analysis paralysis or some “sky is falling” theory, we came back to Big Tom.

Doing something about it

Over the next few meetings I walked him through a simple process to:

• Clarify what he really wanted
• Build a step by step plan to make it a reality
• Learn how to bounce back from the times he was hijacked by his fear

Does it work?

The result? Tom and his wife are working together to move their family to this idyllic mountain town. Does fear still show up? Sure. But Tom bounces back faster these days because he has perspective.

He’s more resilient and buoyed by the momentum he’s gaining. He feels relaxed knowing that he’s actually doing something about this instead of collapsing in fear.

And when it comes to following through, Tom’s got me to hold him accountable.

So let’s talk about you for a second…

• Are you getting stuck trying to figure out what you want or what to do?
• Are you letting your Big Self be eclipsed by your Little Self?
• And are you having a difficult time following through on any plan you lay out?

If you answered “yes” to any of these CLICK HERE and take a minute to answer a few questions. You and I can privately discuss how you can have clarity, your own plan and the tools to make it a reality.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Tripp

* Tom is not his real name.