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Are you waiting on the perfect plan to emerge before making a change?

Is your life oriented around what you love or the expectations of others?

And what could you do over the next few months to positively kick yourself in the ass?

Today we’re talking with Amelia Earhart about cutting the BS, doing what you love and of course, flying.

In this interview we discuss:

• Fear of failure
• Figuring out what you really love to do
• Having the guts to orient your life around what you love
• What to do if you don’t have a plan
• What you can do to get out of a groundhog day rut
• Flying around the world

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“I just don’t know what to do,” Tom* said. Tom is a coaching client of mine.

“I’m tired of living here. My job is a joke. My wife and I want to start over. We’ve got our two boys. But I just don’t know what to do.”

The pressure felt immense.

Tom could see the current chapter of his life was coming to an end. He had no clue what the next chapter would bring. He was drained and scared.

So I asked him, “Well, what do you want to do?”

Tom could only talk about scenarios with doomsday endings. His creative gears were gummed up with a catastrophic concoction of analysis paralysis, fear and resistance.

I asked him again, “Ok. But for a moment, can we put aside all of the end-of-the-world crap and simply clarify what you want?”

I drove it home with…

“What are you afraid to admit that you want?”

Something clicked.

Tom began telling me about how he wanted to move his family to a quiet community a few hours into the mountains. Good schools, good people. Spacious living. Stuff to do on the weekends other than going to the mall. A quality life.

He felt relieved to get it out.

You see, Tom knew what he wanted all along. But this desire was being eclipsed by his fear.

I pointed this out and he said, “I do that all the time! What the heck is that all about? Why does that happen?”

Big You. Little You.

I told him, “Inside of you is a Big Tom and a Little Tom. The Little Tom is only concerned with safety, comfort and predictability. Little Tom has no interest in discomfort or ambiguity. He only sees the world in terms of what he can and cannot control. When you let Little Tom run the show, your life is flat. There’s no growth. It’s groundhog day.

You’re living — dying? — in a box.

“Now Big Tom is different. Big Tom is on this planet to explore, to live, to share, to give, to express. Big Tom has dreams and a vision and a fire for being alive. Big Tom is the guy that hired me as your coach. Big Tom is the guy that wants your life to be a meaningful adventure.”

The Moon and the Sun

I continued, “So think about our Moon and the Sun. If we only saw things from one perspective, we would believe that the Moon and the Sun are the same size. In fact, from our vantage point, the Moon eclipses the Sun.”

“Now we know, the Sun is many, many, many times larger than our Moon. But from this fixed perspective we can’t really grasp the truth.”

“So you run into danger when you believe Little Tom is in the same league as Big Tom. You’re allowing Little Tom — your fear — to eclipse the much, much bigger part of you. The end result is your flaccid, stifled and drained life. At least that’s what happens to me.”

We both laughed.

Tom loved the Moon/Sun metaphor. He could see how he was letting his smaller fears completely eclipse this much bigger part of him that wanted to shine through.

While his fears were still there, they weren’t so big anymore. He had a new perspective.

Moving forward, I helped him to access Big Tom. When he slipped into analysis paralysis or some “sky is falling” theory, we came back to Big Tom.

Doing something about it

Over the next few meetings I walked him through a simple process to:

• Clarify what he really wanted
• Build a step by step plan to make it a reality
• Learn how to bounce back from the times he was hijacked by his fear

Does it work?

The result? Tom and his wife are working together to move their family to this idyllic mountain town. Does fear still show up? Sure. But Tom bounces back faster these days because he has perspective.

He’s more resilient and buoyed by the momentum he’s gaining. He feels relaxed knowing that he’s actually doing something about this instead of collapsing in fear.

And when it comes to following through, Tom’s got me to hold him accountable.

So let’s talk about you for a second…

• Are you getting stuck trying to figure out what you want or what to do?
• Are you letting your Big Self be eclipsed by your Little Self?
• And are you having a difficult time following through on any plan you lay out?

If you answered “yes” to any of these CLICK HERE and take a minute to answer a few questions. You and I can privately discuss how you can have clarity, your own plan and the tools to make it a reality.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Tripp

* Tom is not his real name.

A few years ago I went to a strip club with David Lee Roth.

He’s a friend of a friend.

I want you to imagine your own version of this scenario. Beautiful girls. Jack Daniels. Flashing lights. Loud music. Revisit the videos for “Panama” and “Yankee Rose” if you need inspiration.

And for a moment spare me the judgements you may have about strip clubs in general. Cool? Cool.

So, I’ll tell you more about that night in a bit.

Not long *after* this evening with DLR I was on a “men’s retreat” — the kind where guys go out in the woods and yell and cry and beat on drums and name themselves after animals and then cry some more.

I learned about The Wild Man that lives within us all.

I realized I loved the Wild Man. He has so much raw power. So much juice. Passion. Sexual energy. He is a M-o-t-h-e-r-f-*-c-k-e-r.

On that rainy, muddy night I thought about David Lee Roth. On stage he embodied the Wild Man. He was larger than life. Ready to love. Ready to play. Ready for adventure.

But he doesn’t just live inside of David Lee Roth.

Hear me now: There is a Wild Man in you, too. A primal, growling, c*ck-swinging, stinky, f*cking and fighting masterpiece of a being.

Does that scare you?

You know that thing you’re scared to ask your lover to do to you in bed? Yeah. That’s the Wild Man.

Feminists hate the Wild Man. Intellectuals dismiss him. Nice guys apologize for him. But bored housewives CRAVE him. Go figure.

What’s the only threat to the Wild Man? A cage. And I realized I had a tendency to keep my Wild Man in a cage.

For the most part society doesn’t accept the Wild Man. In other words, we don’t accept a fundamental part of our Who. We. Are.

We fear the Wild Man.

We’re ashamed of him. We contort ourselves to act like he doesn’t exist. “Let’s keep things civilized. Let’s put him in the cage.”

There’s a consequence to caging the Wild Man. Life feels flat. There’s no juice. There’s no play. There’s no grass stains. There’s no grit. No quickies in the parking garage during lunch break.

So on one hand is the assumption that if we let the Wild Man out then we’ll LOSE CONTROL! He’ll screw everything up. He’ll do something stupid. He’ll hurt us and the folks we care about.

And on the other is the realization that killing him is actually killing ourselves. Say goodbye to that power, that juice, that FIRE for life.

So are you doomed either way?

Join me back at the club with Mr Roth…

Get your imagination going. The loud music, the girls. The videos for “Panama” and “Yankee Rose”. Skin. Powder. Drinks. A huge inflatable microphone that’s really a dong. Houston, this club is in orbit!

That night? It was *nothing* like that.

Dave was a gentleman. He sat around and told stories. If you were there you wouldn’t have noticed him. His 1,236 pound bodyguard was the one catching everyone’s eye. More so than the girls.

But wait — we’re expecting Dave to go crazy!

He has a license to burn the place down! He owns pants that have the a*s torn out!

He didn’t go crazy. He was not the Wild Man. Far from it.

Now, I’m not going to pretend to know Dave. But that night I realized there was more to him than the Wild Man.

He didn’t have to be the Wild Man because *he has an outlet* for his Wild Man. His Wild Man is accepted, nurtured and respected. There’s a place and time for Dave’s Wild Man — it’s the stage not the cage.

So even at a strip club in the debauchery of Hollywood…

There was no need to let his Wild Man run the room.

Now — what’s the takeaway? Simple. It’s integration. We’ve got to integrate the Wild Man into our lives. Caging him is not the solution.

We’ve got to create an outlet for the Wild Man.

Have you ever heard the saying, “A tired dog is a good dog”? That’s what I’m talking about.

Sit the Wild Man down for a beer. Make friends with him. Accept who he is. Accept who YOU are. Ask him what he wants. Give the Wild Man a place to safely play and then wear his stank a*s out.

Now ask yourself…

Do you accept your Wild Man or is he dying a painful death in the cage of your soul?

What would your life be like with that power, juice and fire at hand?

And how would it feel to trust and accept the grittier parts of yourself instead of worrying what others may think?

The Wild Man is only a raging lunatic when you keep him locked up in that cage. Learn how to lead him and you’ll connect with that vitality again.

Remember to have fun, Tripp

PS If you want to reconnect with that fire and juice for life again then CLICK HERE — you and I can privately discuss what would work specifically for you.