“I’m stuck. I’m scared. I’ve got to do something but I just don’t know what to do.”

Sound familiar?

This was what my client Truman was saying to me recently. (BTW Truman is not his real name.)

He’d been stuck for a while. He needed to make a change, but at every turn it seemed there were no options. He was exhausted and becoming jaded.

He wanted a plan. And most of all he wanted a guarantee that it would work. He didn’t have time, energy or money to waste.

There was a sense that this *had* to work. But he had no idea what *this* was.

As I listened to him, I noticed that something felt off to me. I noticed that ideas he had previously considered seemed to instantaneously get shot down. There was an inner-critic and an inner-protector hard at work.

So I asked him, “What are you really afraid of?”

After a bit of back and forth he finally said, “I don’t want to look weak. I don’t want to be mediocre. I don’t want to be criticized. I don’t want to fail.”

We both exhaled. Ahhhhhhhhh … the truth!

It wasn’t that Truman didn’t have any ideas. He just believed he didn’t have any GREAT ideas. And if his ideas weren’t great then he was vulnerable to failure and criticism.

He believed a great idea — the perfect idea — would remove the risk. That’s quite a theory, huh?

This need to be perfect was killing his creativity. It was killing his ability to find a solution. It was keeping him stuck.

So what could he do?

I asked him to consider being bold. He sat up straighter in his seat.

“Would the bold version of you let the possibility of criticism stop you?”

“No.”

“Would the bold version of you measure yourself by someone else’s yardstick or have the guts to use your own?”

A smile came across his face.

“I’d have the guts to just do my thing.” We were both getting excited now. This was fun.

It seems that by trying not to look weak, we end up looking weak.

It takes real strength, real courage to simply do your thing. Whatever that may be. Even if it invites criticism from others. Even if it appears less than great.

It’s delusional to think we’ll be perfect right out of the gate (or ever). It takes time, practice, patience and persistence to make progress. Much like our days as a toddler, we will fall down during the learning process.

So why not be bold? Why not do it anyway?

Truman now prefers to be bold rather than wait on the sidelines. When he falls down, he gets up and tries again.

Today, he and I are focusing his time and energy so he gets the most from his efforts. He does a little bit everyday. He doesn’t get overwhelmed. And fear no longer has a death grip on his creative process.

There’s no more waiting for the perfect time or perfect idea. He’s in motion. He no longer feels the terrible frustration of being stuck.

What about you?

Are you on the sidelines? Are you waiting for the perfect idea? The perfect time?

If so, let’s talk. Click here to fill out a coaching questionnaire and we’ll explore what’s possible for you.

Remember to have fun,

Tripp

PS A new episode of The New Man is coming soon! Stay tuned.

My coaching client, Joe was feeling stuck.

He was changing careers and had no idea about where to go next. He was scared and very frustrated. (BTW, Joe is not his real name)

In previous sessions, we had revealed that Joe was passionate about empowering others while working outside, using his hands. This is where he felt alive and valuable.

However, there was a mysterious force pulling him towards the “corporate” jobs — Wearing a tie. Fluorescent lighting. Titles. Hierarchies. Office politics.

Which is fine for a lot of folks, but Joe was in his thirties and had never had a “suit” job before. He just wasn’t that type of guy. This didn’t line up with his passion.

I got curious. Continue Reading

There’s a monster lurking within these two scenarios. Can you spot it?

Scenario 1:

A family man with a full-time career has a dream of being a stand up comedian. This dream is dying a slow painful death in the basement of his soul.

One day he shares this dream with his wife. To his surprise they discuss ways that he can make it work without burdening his family.

Within a few weeks he is practicing and performing comedy regularly. His wife even helps him network and get gigs.

The result? This man feels more energized and optimistic. He’s lit up by his life.

BTW, this actually happened with a client of mine.

Scenario 2:

A man living in the Pacific Northwest has spent the year working in Austin, Texas. He falls in love with the place, but in order to keep his job, he feels trapped into moving back. He sulks and worries and stresses over the impending move.

One day he asks his superiors about the possibility of making the transfer to Austin permanent. Their response? Yes! He has their blessing to stay. As a result, this man doesn’t feel stuck. He’s empowered.

This, too, actually happened.

Did You Catch The Monster?

In both cases these men were ASSUMING that going for what they really wanted would “rock the boat” in some way — which is putting it rather lightly.

The assumption was the big, bad scary monster holding these guys back.

But in reality, the opposite was true. Those around them were excited to help them get what they truly wanted. Those around them were glad to step up and help the brother out.

Crazy, huh? (BTW, I see this a lot.)

Now Here’s the REALLY Scary Part

Many of us won’t even allow ourselves to *own* what we want because we’re so fearful of the assumed consequences. Many of us are deflated because we’ve cut ourselves off from what we really want in our lives.

Here Are Two Questions for You:

(1) What one thing are you afraid to even admit that you want?
(2) What terrible scenario are you assuming will happen if you let the world know what you want?

Now — I wonder — is that *really* true? Is it?

If you want to clarify what you really want in this life…

If you want to dethrone the “assumption monster”…

If you want to get out of this rut and pursue what you love…

Then CLICK HERE to fill out a simple coaching questionnaire.

Let’s start the process today.