Here’s an interview with me from The Ultimate Men’s Summit (sounds so BIG, huh?). It was a lot of fun and I’ve gotten a ton of positive feedback from it.

Click here to listen now.

Lion Goodman (the interviewer) and I had a few laughs discussing:

• Why so many guys are getting lost trying to “find their purpose”
• 3 Steps for defining your mission
• Why so many guys fall into the trap and “chase” the wrong things in life
• Why guys get stuck in analysis paralysis or information overload

If you want to discuss getting more clarity and take action in your life, click here to fill out a questionnaire and set up a time to talk with me one on one.

Enjoy!

Sounds strange, but sometimes it’s hard to tell when something is good or bad for us.

Consider this — there are two types of burns in your life.

The Good Burn — You’re at the gym. You’re working out. You’re pushing your edge. It’s uncomfortable. It’s difficult. It’s challenging. You’re huffing and puffing. You’re convinced that your lung is going to fall out of your mouth. It doesn’t.

AND in some ways it feels good. Afterwards there’s a smile. A sense of satisfaction. “I did it!” Even if you’re tired there’s greater energy. The tired is a “good” tired. You sleep better after The Good Burn.

The Good Burn is about growth.

It’s burning through the stuff that’s holding you back and making way for a greater possibility. The Good Burn brings confidence. The Good Burn expands your capacity to deal with intensity.

The Bad Burn — You’re working the grill. You space out. There’s a sizzling sound — your flesh is being torched. You lose skin and perhaps worse, dinner is delayed.

You are weakened. You lose money treating the burn. You are in pain long after the initial event. You continue to drain energy tending to this burn, working to help it heal. You stress. You beat yourself up. You lose sleep from The Bad Burn.

The Bad Burn takes away from who you are. The Good Burn contributes.

So what are The Good Burns in your life? What activities, what relationships challenge you to be a happier, more fulfilled version of you?

What are The Bad Burns in your life? What activities or relationships drain you and take away from who you really are?

Get to know what qualifies as The Good Burn for you. Be willing to take the heat from time to time.

Identify The Bad Burns and swiftly eliminate whomever or whatever they are from your life.

Tripp

PS If you’re not sure *how* to eliminate The Bad Burns in your life and want to orient your life around The Good Stuff then CLICK HERE to fill out a coaching questionnaire.

Do you smell that stinky, toxic smell?

You wake up. It’s just another day. Another day filled with obligations. You “have to” do this. You “have to” do that.

You’re running the hamster wheel. You’re drained. You’re fun-repellant.

That stinky, toxic smell? It’s YOU.

You are stinkin’ up the place with that double-flusher of a mood.

You’re drained because you’re denying yourself what will replenish and rejuvenate you. The obligations come first — what you want can wait.

Now here’s the real stinker — You’re assuming that if you speak up for what you want then something crappy will happen. There’s a boogeyman hiding under the bed.

Interesting idea? Let’s take a look.

STEP ONE: Identify what you want. Take a few minutes. What would energize you today? What would make the day fun? What would put gas back IN your tank today? (If this part is already challenging you then we’re on the right track.)

STEP TWO: Identify the assumption (the fear) you have. Complete this sentence: “If I were to __________ then _________ would happen.” For instance: “If I were to take the evening to go spend a few hours at a movie, my loved ones might feel like I don’t care about them.”

Get specific. This is you describing the boogeyman. What kind of eyes and claws and teeth does this bad boy have? Paint the picture.

STEP THREE: Check it out. Get curious. Speak up with whomever is involved. “I have a story that says if I were to ________ then you would ________. I’m wondering if this is really true?”

Eliminate the assumptions. Go for hard data. Be explicit. (Note: if you’re feeling defensive right now then we’re REALLY on to something.)

This isn’t about being irresponsible.

Quite the opposite. This is about you taking a stand for yourself AND your responsibilities. It’s a both/and instead of an either/or.

This third step is where we grab a flashlight and look under the bed. Is there really a boogeyman under there? Or is it just a dust bunny with the amazing power to drain your life?

So — no more assumptions. Take these 3 simple steps for yourself.

And light a candle, will ya?

Tripp

PS I’ve helped many of my coaching clients clarify what they want, speak up about it and realize that the boogeyman that had been under their bed — sometimes for years — was completely imagined.

CLICK HERE to learn more about how we can work together to get the boogeyman out from under your bed.

6/8/11 UPDATE

Here’s an interesting exchange I had with a reader — Is it Time to Let Her Go? Click here to read it.