Check out this awesome video created by listener Nick Navatta for a recent post I did about purpose and passion and mission.
Here’s another solid tip you can use everyday.
It’s part of The New Man Life online course which closes it’s doors today.
So click here to learn more and register for The New Man Life.
Now for the tip…
Many of my coaching clients are feeling lost. They say things like…
…I don’t even know what I want. I *should* have a vision, right? I *should* know what I want to do, right?”
And I can relate. I’ve certainly been there. It just isn’t very ‘manly’ to admit feeling lost.
But here’s the flipside — Later in the conversation, this same guy can go on a tirade of complaints.
“These f’n people I work with are idiots.”
“I’m sick of the boring, repetitive work I do.”
“I’m so tired of my house being a human barn.”
“And don’t get me started on my relationship. My sex life is on life support.”
Sound familiar?
We all know this complaining is non-productive. It’s draining. It even has a tendency to drive caring friends and family away with its toxicity.
I believe that underneath the complaint is a DESIRE. An ideal. Something you want.
This same guy — the one who is freaked out and embarrassed because he doesn’t know what he wants — actually DOES know what he wants. He just doesn’t see it.
Let me explain.
The complaint tells us that whatever IS happening is NOT lined up with what he wants.
Somewhere in there is a desired outcome. And because reality isn’t lining up with this desired outcome, he complains.
On the other hand, if reality was lined up with his desired outcome, he’d be cool. There would be no complaint.
Let’s do a little archaeology and reveal his ideal, his desired outcome.
A conversation with him might look like this…
If you don’t like working with “idiots”, who do you want to work with?
“Cooperative, creative, fun and open-minded people.”
If you’re sick of the kind of work you’re doing, then what kind of work would be satisfying?
“Something engaging, fun and challenging. I want a variety of responsibilities. And I want to be free to make decisions as I see fit.”
What about your “human barn”?
“I want to live in a clean, orderly place. I want my home to be a sanctuary.”
Your relationship? Your sex life?
“I want my partner and I to support one another. I want us to have fun again. I want us to find ways to play. And I want to feel desired. I want to know that I turn her on — that she wants me as much as I want her.”
Now we’ve got something to work with. At this point, the ideals are pretty general, but they’re a solid place to start.
I want to emphasize a big point…
Taking this conversation deeper, the next steps — the next *baby* steps — will emerge.
And as his coach, I’ll hold him accountable to actually follow through. Progress will be made.
Instead of getting mired in the dead end of the complaint, use it. Recognize that the complaint is really a request in disguise. Get curious about the complaint and clarify what you do want.
It’s right under your nose.
You’ll have the opportunity to interact with me on the call as well.
Click here to register for The New Man Life online training.
I hope to talk with you then,
Tripp
PS Click here to learn more and to register for The New Man Life online training.
Here’s another preview of one of the topics explored in The New Man Life online training.
There are only four days left to sign up…
Do you think talent is what brings success? What about skill? How about being “perfect”?
Regardless of what defines the success — family/friends, money in the bank, landing on the Moon, Minka Kelly’s toothbrush in your bathroom, true satisfaction + fulfillment — there are two things that can damn near guarantee it.
I’ve watched really skilled guys end up taking orders their whole life. I’ve witnessed the ones who “got it right” end up drowning in their complaints.
And we know what happens to “nice guys”.
On the other hand, I’ve seen guys without much talent, without much skill and without a need to be perfect do amazing things.
These guys — The Badasses who get sh*t done and accomplish their dreams — have two things in common.
#1 — They have a vision: they have a specific, desired outcome.
And…
#2 — They have commitment: they’re fully committed to make this desired outcome a reality.
The Bad*sses don’t get mired in “being perfect.” Good enough will do.
The Bad*sses don’t hit the wall if they fail. When they fall off, they get back on.
The Bad*sses aren’t attached to the path being a certain way. If the path is a dead end, they’re flexible. They switch it up. They’re focus is on what they want. Not how they will get there.
The common characteristic?
They’re living without a vision of what they want and the commitment to follow through.
So how can you clarify what you want?
How can you galvanize those intestines to follow through?
Here’s a little bit about how The New Man Life works…
It’s a live phone call every week on Tuesdays at 8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific. You can call in from anywhere in the world. If you can’t make the call. No problem. You can listen to the recording via MP3.
The big ideas and practical info that actually works. I’ve been teaching and coaching this stuff for years. This is what my clients use to get out of ruts and into gear. And you’ll get it without paying the big bucks.
You’ll be able to ask me questions directly. At least half the call will be dedicated to live Q&A and spontaneous coaching. You and other members will be able to talk with me directly and benefit from hearing about others’ challenges as well.
The topics that matter. Each week will be centered around a specific topic: mindsets for success, avoiding traps, getting out of ruts, relationships, career/purpose and what you can do that will actually make a difference.
Far from it. It’s going to be fun. I find most of this personal development stuff to be too dry and serious. We’ll have a few laughs while helping you live a kickass — make that Badass — life.
Click here to learn more, read what others are saying and register for the course.
I hope you’ll be on the call next week,
Tripp
PS Feel the relief of knowing you’re doing something good for yourself. Have fun in the process. The New Man Life online training starts Tuesday September 20th. Click here to register today.
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