This is part 2 of our talk with Dr. Sandor Gardos.
In this episode he continues to lay out some simple distinctions and the practices you can do TODAY to quit settling for a crappy sex life without killing your marriage.
In this episode:
- Women’s arousal pattern is different than men’s
- Why she doesn’t initiate sex
- Get over the myth of reciprocity in sex
- Women want to feel deeply desired by their partner
- Not just deeply desiring to “get off” with her
- Make the passion about her, not just about “getting off”
- What if you no longer desire your partner?
- Don’t be afraid to get outside help — qualified sex therapist
- Go to a sex therapist vs “regular” psychologist
- Don’t overdo “closeness”
- Avoiding conflict, being the peacemaker
- Non-violent communication
- Balancing domesticity with sexual passion
- Don’t get neutered
- Harmony can reduce passion
- What are you doing to remove the spark from your relationship?
- Where’s my desire in this moment? Own it.
- Vulnerability means speaking what you wants
- Vulnerability is taking risks
- Take your woman “on a ride”
- Do something where you don’t know how she’s going to respond
- When and how to talk to her if this stuff isn’t working
- Accept that you have different styles — doesn’t mean you’re wrong
- Remove the blame and shame
- Why women have sex
- What if she doesn’t care about sex?
- Your sexual needs matter — don’t cut it off
- Keep it simple and stick to the basics
Sandor Gardos, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist. He was formerly a fellow at the College of Physicians & Surgeons of Columbia University in New York and is currently a research scientist at the HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies. He is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists as well as the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. He has written over a hundred articles, chapters, books, and other publications, and has served as the editor of Sexual Science. Gardos is also a regular guest on many nationally syndicated television and radio shows.
Get Stuff Done.
Developed by professional coach Tripp Lanier, The Daily Toolkit teaches you the small steps that create big changes.