This is part 2 of our talk with Dr. Sandor Gardos.
In this episode he continues to lay out some simple distinctions and the practices you can do TODAY to quit settling for a crappy sex life without killing your marriage.
In this episode:
- Women’s arousal pattern is different than men’s
- Why she doesn’t initiate sex
- Get over the myth of reciprocity in sex
- Women want to feel deeply desired by their partner
- Not just deeply desiring to “get off” with her
- Make the passion about her, not just about “getting off”
- What if you no longer desire your partner?
- Don’t be afraid to get outside help — qualified sex therapist
- Go to a sex therapist vs “regular” psychologist
- Don’t overdo “closeness”
- Avoiding conflict, being the peacemaker
- Non-violent communication
- Balancing domesticity with sexual passion
- Don’t get neutered
- Harmony can reduce passion
- What are you doing to remove the spark from your relationship?
- Where’s my desire in this moment? Own it.
- Vulnerability means speaking what you wants
- Vulnerability is taking risks
- Take your woman “on a ride”
- Do something where you don’t know how she’s going to respond
- When and how to talk to her if this stuff isn’t working
- Accept that you have different styles — doesn’t mean you’re wrong
- Remove the blame and shame
- Why women have sex
- What if she doesn’t care about sex?
- Your sexual needs matter — don’t cut it off
- Keep it simple and stick to the basics
Sandor Gardos, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist. He was formerly a fellow at the College of Physicians & Surgeons of Columbia University in New York and is currently a research scientist at the HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies. He is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists as well as the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. He has written over a hundred articles, chapters, books, and other publications, and has served as the editor of Sexual Science. Gardos is also a regular guest on many nationally syndicated television and radio shows.