I just had this exchange with a New Man listener. Enjoy.

He writes:

“I’m a new listener as of December 2009. I love it. I have been reading professional development and self help books and audio for the last 2 years.

I would like to hear a show about marriage commitment. whether to marry or not. I love my girl, and I want to marry her soon. But I have a strong sex drive and sometimes my mind wonders. Is this normal for someone who genuinely loves someone? Do I need help?”

My response:

Thanks for writing — it’s great that you’re enjoying the shows!

Marriage commitment and any kind of relationship commitment is a solid idea for a topic, too. I dealt with this for a LONG time in my previous relationship and I coach guys on this stuff, too.

I don’t have the complete picture for you, but from experience I don’t believe that a guy’s sex drive or admiration of other women should suddenly cease to exist. It’s not an indicator whether or not he loves his mate.

The only help I would suggest would be to learn how to “own your desire”. Good news is that we did two POWERFUL shows on this very topic recently. My wife and I talk about how I had to awkwardly learn how to own my desire for other women even though I was in love with her and married. I think you’ll be surprised to hear what these amazing women had to say about sexual desire, marriage, and commitment.

I think it’ll help you big time.

Here are the links — it’s a two part show:

Click here to listen to Part 1

Click here to listen to Part 2

Let me know what you think, and thanks for writing!


Find Clarity.

Get Stuff Done.

Dial in Your Daily Routine.

Learn the small steps that make big changes. Enter your email below to gain access to The Daily Toolkit ebook and audiobook.

Success! Check your email spam folder in case the instructions ended up there.