I just had this exchange with a New Man listener. Enjoy.

He writes:

“I’m a new listener as of December 2009. I love it. I have been reading professional development and self help books and audio for the last 2 years.

I would like to hear a show about marriage commitment. whether to marry or not. I love my girl, and I want to marry her soon. But I have a strong sex drive and sometimes my mind wonders. Is this normal for someone who genuinely loves someone? Do I need help?”

My response:

Thanks for writing — it’s great that you’re enjoying the shows!

Marriage commitment and any kind of relationship commitment is a solid idea for a topic, too. I dealt with this for a LONG time in my previous relationship and I coach guys on this stuff, too.

I don’t have the complete picture for you, but from experience I don’t believe that a guy’s sex drive or admiration of other women should suddenly cease to exist. It’s not an indicator whether or not he loves his mate.

The only help I would suggest would be to learn how to “own your desire”. Good news is that we did two POWERFUL shows on this very topic recently. My wife and I talk about how I had to awkwardly learn how to own my desire for other women even though I was in love with her and married. I think you’ll be surprised to hear what these amazing women had to say about sexual desire, marriage, and commitment.

I think it’ll help you big time.

Here are the links — it’s a two part show:

Click here to listen to Part 1

Click here to listen to Part 2

Let me know what you think, and thanks for writing!