I was on a coaching call with my client Neil. He was complaining. He wasn’t fired up about anything. He couldn’t remember how to have fun anymore. He wasn’t doing anything that gave his life some sense of meaning. (BTW Neil isn’t his real name)
He was going on and on until I stopped him with a question…
“Hey Neil, what do you want?”
“Huh?” he said.
“If a genie popped out of a bottle, would you be able to tell him what you truly wanted? Are you prepared for that opportunity?”
He was dumbfounded. It seems so simple — to know what we want. But Neil had honed his ability to bitch and moan instead of grooming his list of desires.
The result? Neil wasn’t leading his life.
He’s not alone. It’s one of the reasons why so many of us feel lost. We don’t know what the hell we want! How can we possibly expect to feel satisfied or fulfilled?
Do we really believe that we can blindly walk into a restaurant (aka The Universe) and get a satisfying, fulfilling meal by having everyone else figure out what we want for us?
(Cue game-show loser buzzing sound)
Which begs the question — Why is it so hard to know what we want?
My theory is that “owning” what we want can be scary. We can get our hopes up and then get shot down. We can be rejected. Judged. Pooped on.
For many guys, it’s easier (and safer) to simply go with the flow and take whatever comes along instead of plotting their own course. It’s easier to give the reins to everyone else.
Knowing what you want in a given situation is the key to being the leader of your life.
Neil was ready to take this leadership role. He was tired of mindlessly going with the flow. He could see that it was his responsibility to tap into what he wanted. And I mean what he really wanted — beyond a cold beer after mowing the yard or the swimsuit edition springing to life in the shower.
I walked Neil through a simple and fun process to clarify what would light him up in every area of his life. As a result we had the building blocks for a measurable, tangible vision.
He was relieved to find that in some ways his ideal life was very close. And in others there was work to be done. As his coach, I’m now holding him accountable to do the things *he* is choosing to do to close the gap.
Neil is now out of the fog. He’s no longer bitching and moaning and complaining. He’s actually doing something about it and having fun in the process. He’s leading his life.
What about you?
Are you bitching and moaning and complaining?
Are you ready to clarify what you truly want?
Are you ready to close the gap between where you are and where you’d really like to be?
If so, click here to fill out a coaching questionnaire and we’ll start this process today.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Remember to have fun,