There are a lot of men and women who are on the fence about their relationships. I’ve been one of them, and it’s painful for everyone involved.
“Should I stay? Should I go? Am I settling?”
When it’s good it’s really good. But a lot of the time it’s bad which is, well, not good.
If you’re a fence-sitter, let’s play a game.
What if this person never changes? This is as good as it gets. And that thing they do that pisses you off? Yeah, they’re going to keep doing that.
Would you stay in the relationship or leave?
Here’s what’s going on. Most of the time the fence-sitter is not in love with the current version of their lover.
No, they’re holding out for who that person could be one magical day in the future.
“If only he would change this…”
“If only she would just…”
The fence-sitter may mean to inspire them to be the best version of themselves, but here’s the thing…
They end up sending a message that says…
“I don’t really accept you as you are. I’m holding out for who I think you could be. Right now, you’re just not good enough.”
Does this message inspire anyone to open their hearts and lay it on the line?
“You’re not good enough.”
So, what if he or she never ever changes? Would you stay or would you go?
If you want to co-create an amazing relationship, start from a place of acceptance and appreciation for who they already are.
And if this — what is real — isn’t good enough for you, then do both of yourselves a favor and move along.
Have a great week,
Stop Spinning Your Wheels.
Get Stuff Done.
Developed by professional coach Tripp Lanier, The Daily Toolkit will help you keep your work, lifestyle, and relationships out of Suck-Ville.