Neediness. Desperation. Clingy. Weakness.

For many these are the kiss of death. They kill relationships and repel opportunity.

Solution? We pretend to be whole.

“I’ll show you! I don’t need anything from the world! I’m already whole as I am!”

And this wholeness idea works for a while. But without transformation the neediness reappears.

“If I could just get rid of this neediness, then I could be whole!” Which is like saying, “If I just cut off my leg, then I’d be complete.”

You see, wholeness isn’t the absence of need. Wholeness is embracing that part of us that has needs. It’s accepting that part of us that is scared, confused, ashamed, and weak. 

Still not sure?

Think of a little boy in your life — your son, a nephew, a friend’s kid. It’s pouring outside. It’s getting dark. You’re driving along and you see him on the side of the road. He’s crying. He’s soaked. He’s been injured. He’s terrified.

Do you keep driving? Abandon him? Do you wish he would just go away?

Or do you — as the adult — pull over and offer protection and help?

Let’s face it. Most of us are navigating the world as children — scared, hurt, and confused. There’s no adult driving the car. In other words, we’re not offering ourselves protection, guidance, and acceptance.

And without this, that little kid inside seeks safety, guidance, and acceptance from the outside world. He appears needy, etc.

So here’s the question: Do you have your own back?

I certainly hope so.

Have a great week,


PS Still thinking about neediness? Click here to learn more about how we can work together.