In the second part of this series covering some of the big ideas in The New Man 360 audio course, I want to tell you about a guy I meet pretty often. In fact, I got to know him quite well. Today we’re talking about The Self-Development Jackass.
Oh yeah. I knew this guy well because he was me. Maybe you can relate to him as well.
Are You Trapped in These BS Beliefs?
Here are just some of the limiting beliefs he falls prey to from time to time:
If I just had more information, or more knowledge, or more analysis then I would feel less pain or discomfort.
In other words, The Self-Development Jackass is trying to run away from his emotions by gathering more information. For guys, our emotional world can be downright baffling. We’ve been taught to stuff it since we were little kids. We’ve learned lots of ways to go into our heads in order to escape the feelings in our bodies.
But at some point we have to realize that our true power comes online when we learn how to integrate our emotional world. Instead of fearing it and using more analysis and information to push it away, we can learn how to experience it, listen to it and let it guide us to what we truly want in our lives.
This is the pathway to feeling more alive, to feeling more fulfillment, joy, flow — it’s the pathway to feeling anything we really want to experience.
What About This One?
I can’t slow down or stop moving forward because I haven’t done XYZ yet or because there is more to improve.
In his quest to improve himself, The Self-Development Jackass has lost his ability to appreciate what he’s already accomplished and who he is in this moment. All he can see are the deficiencies. In this world, nothing is ever good enough or acceptable — but the process never ends. And this is a recipe for depression and exhaustion.
The truth is we’ll never find satisfaction and fulfillment in whatever we’re creating if we can’t be grateful for what we already have. In other words — we need to learn how to appreciate what we’ve got while also having a strong desire for what we’re creating.
Or Maybe This One?
If I just get this technique, this model, or information ‘correct’, then I’ll never feel scared, vulnerable, or challenged again. I’ll be free from the bullshit life throws my way.
This is where the Self-Development Jackass believes there is a panacea — a velvet-rope VIP area where a special few are rewarded for their efforts and finally freed of the challenges life throws our way — specifically the things that scare us or have us feel vulnerable.
We tell ourselves that once we cross this finish line that we’ll finally be free to live how we really want to live. We’ll be free to do what we really want to do. We’ll give ourselves permission to finally relax and create the life we want.
There is no such place. For anyone. It doesn’t matter how much money or knowledge or body fat you may have. If you actually want to feel alive there’s always a risk close by. There’s always vulnerability.
So while you can improve your abilities to handle what life throws at you, don’t fall into the trap that says you’ll ever be exonerated from these challenges. Instead get out there, be willing to take some risks, and live your life instead of waiting until it’s safe.
It’s Time to Dive Deeper
So these are just some of the traps I talk about avoiding in The New Man 360 audio course that covers what really matters and what really works when it comes to:
- Dialing in Your Mindset
- Avoiding Traps
- Getting out of Ruts
- Navigating Relationships
- Aligning Your Work in the World
- As well as the practices that will actually make this stuff stick.
In the next episode, we’re going to explore a checklist I’ve used to help myself and many others get out of a rut.