This is the fourth episode in this series where we’re exploring some of the big ideas in The New Man 360 audio course. Relationships are a big part of the course, and today we’re going to review a simple relationship tool for men.
Why Should We Care About Relationships?
Because everything of true value and deep meaning is a product of the relationships in our lives. Relationships open doors and create opportunities.
Relationships are the key to what makes our lives meaningful. Just go talk to somebody on their deathbed. Most of them are going to highlight their relationships.
So if relationships are so critical to our lives, let’s stop fumble-fucking our way through them shall we?
How to Stop Neediness and Drama
A big idea I want to share with you right now focuses on how your relationships with others is built upon on the relationship you have with yourself.
Let’s stop and think about that for a second. What kind of a relationship do you have with yourself? Are you mired in self-criticism? Do you bullshit yourself? Or are you an ally to yourself? Are you someone who respects and honors who you are in the world?
It’s pretty simple, but the easiest way to improve your relationships with others is to improve your relationship with yourself. To start valuing yourself. When we do this we tolerate less bullshit, we do what we say we’re going to do, we honor what we’re thinking and feeling and wanting, and we’re willing to rock the boat in service of what we truly want.
Start with You
When we learn how to value ourselves, it’s much harder to lose ourselves in a relationship or to play a role in order to keep someone around. It’s much harder to become a doormat or a nice guy or someone who is insensitive to what others are going through.
When we develop a strong relationship with ourselves we are less needy of others. We stop depending on them to figure out what will make us happy. We take responsibility for our own happiness.
When we develop a strong relationship with ourselves we don’t get sucked into drama. We don’t play the victim. We refuse to play the villain. And we stop trying to fix or rescue others as well.
Here Comes the Tough Love
If you’re complaining about the quality of the relationships in your life then take a look in the mirror. You are the common denominator in all of them. This may be tough to hear, but it’s good news because that means you are also able to change how you show up. And showing up differently means your relationships are going to be different, too.
So this is just one idea we explore in The New Man 360 audio course that covers what really matters and what really works when it comes to:
- Dialing in Your Mindset
- Avoiding Traps
- Getting out of Ruts
- Navigating Relationships
- Aligning Your Work in the World
- As well as the practices that will actually make this stuff stick.
In our next episode — the last in this series — we’re going to answer the questions, “Do I have to make money doing what I love? Do I have to make a living by living my purpose?”