Most people that want a coach say something like, “I want somebody to hold me accountable.”
I don’t hold people accountable.
My daughter is 5 years old. And every evening she depends on me or my wife to tell her it’s time to clean up and get ready for bath and bed. And most nights she protests and whines about it. And every night she eventually does the routine.
When I hear someone tell me they want to be held accountable this is what I think about.
They want to be the child. They want someone else to be the adult. They want someone else to be responsible for them. They want someone else to nag them and push them.
I don’t play this game with clients. I used to. But not anymore. It’s too exhausting. It’s no fun.
(And you should see a “successful” guy’s face when I tell him, “I’m not going to be your mommy.” Priceless.)
It’s more fun to create an environment where the client is treated like the adult they are. Where they are focused on what they’re doing. Where they are committed. Where they are motivated.
Do they still want support and challenge and guidance? Absolutely.
Do they want a container that makes it damn near impossible for them to backslide or regress? Absolutely.
Do they want to feel more alive and aligned because they’re doing what they say they’re going to do? Absolutely.
Do they need someone to treat them like a child in order to make all of this happen? No.
It’s amazing what happens when the bar is set really high. People remember the value of their lives, the value of their time and energy. They stop doing the things that are a distraction. They stop tolerating what drains them. They start doing the things they were put on this earth to do.
And that is way more fun.