“What is the one question — that if you knew the answer — would change everything for you?” I asked.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“You’ve been telling me all about your problem. You’ve been explaining why things aren’t working. You’ve been telling me that you’re lost. You’ve been telling me you don’t know what to do or how to do what is next, correct?”
“Yes,” he said.
“So let’s flip it. Let’s figure out the question you can begin to ask yourself — and others — that will deliver the answer you’re looking for,” I explained.
He thought for a moment.
“Ok. How do I ____________?” he asked.
“Great. Have you googled this question? Have you asked this question to someone who has already figured it out? Have you thought about where to find the answer?” I asked.
“No. Not really,” he said sheepishly. He seemed a little shocked. But he’s not alone.
We often focus so much energy on explaining why something is not working without asking how it could.
When this happens to me — and it does — it’s because I’m afraid to answer that powerful question. Answering that question opens the door to a new possibility for my life or business.
Answering that question means I no longer have an excuse to avoid doing something scary. Being “lost” — sticking my head in the sand — means I get to stay safe.
These days when I catch myself believing I’m lost or don’t know what to do, I know that it means I’m just scared to make a change. Otherwise I would be curious. I’d be asking questions about how others have done it.
I’d be looking for a solution instead of explaining my problem.