The following is a transcript of this podcast episode:
Throughout this series we’ve been focusing on the intersection of our personal growth and our work in the world. Many of us are growing in many ways as men. But in order to pay the bills we end up putting all of that depth aside, play a role, and doing something that drains us.
I’ve met so many good guys who want to make great money doing something good in the world. Many of these guys want to stop chasing superficial success in order to create a business or professional offering that aligns with their values. But along the way they realize that simply improving who they are as men doesn’t mean they’ll have a thriving profession.
I know all of this because I was one of the guys who sold his thriving business to follow my calling. Through ignorance, I ended up on a lousy professional trajectory. I was well connected and had lots of resources when it came to my personal, spiritual, and relational development. But I was stuck in amateur hour when it came to building my business.
I was hiding out, and I was trying to be “the guy everybody likes” because I was afraid to have anyone reject me and my services. I was afraid to own my Inner Authority and reveal more about what matters to me. And I hated talking about my work because I didn’t feel confident about my offering. I wanted others to figure out what I offered so I wouldn’t have to “put myself out there.” I didn’t want to feel vulnerable.
I was isolated. I was disconnected from others who were on a similar professional path. I was playing small by trying to figure it all out on my own. No one was there to challenge me in a productive way, help me step into my potential, and follow through.
I was stuck in a weak, limited mindset. And my business and peace of mind suffered. Instead of being bold, I was on a path to go broke.
Let me tell you a story to illustrate how I turned this around.
I learned early on with The New Man Podcast that being popular doesn’t mean you’ll have a strong business. I made excuses and just figured that these were “difficult times” and that was why my business was limping along. I was everyone’s buddy, but I couldn’t see that my limited thinking was the reason things weren’t progressing. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was my own worst enemy.
One night around Christmas my Dad and I were having a few drinks and he said something very powerful to me. He said,
“I listen to your podcast. And I get your emails. But I don’t know why anyone would give you any money.”
It stung. Bad. I took it personally, and I spent most of the night laying in bed staring at the ceiling pissed and hurt. I thought a lot about giving up and trying to find another career. I wanted to blame the world for making things so difficult.
But then I took a deeper look at what he actually said. He was paying attention to my message, but he didn’t understand what I was offering or why it was valuable.
This was great information! I was assuming that people knew who I was and what I did as a coach. I was assuming that people understood the value of what I was offering.
But if he didn’t understand this, then others obviously didn’t either.
With this simple and very challenging feedback a blindspot had been revealed. My mindset shifted into one of empowerment, and I was able to see the opportunity right in front of me.
I got help, I got bold, and I followed through.
As an experiment, I started sharing powerful stories about my clients and their transformative experiences through coaching. This was vulnerable and edgy for me, but within a matter of weeks my coaching practice was full.
Now I’m not going to bullshit you and make it sound like I rode off into the sunset and everything was peachy after that. There were more challenges to come.
But here’s the takeaway…
At that time I came really close to hanging up my coaching practice — what I believed to be my calling. I came really close to walking away from a profession that has allowed me to have a spacious lifestyle and earn a great living helping countless men all around the world.
And I learned a very powerful lesson about getting isolated. Since then — with the help of other coaches and powerful groups of likeminded people — I’ve been able to create the lifestyle and business I want.
This is why it frustrates me when I see the good guys on this planet that want to do good things in the world struggling for such silly reasons.
I see them struggling because they’re hiding out. They fail because they take an amateur approach. They call it quits because they don’t have the support, challenge, and accountability to see it through.
I believe in this coaching process and these principles because they have worked for me — and saved my butt — over the years. I still hire coaches to this day. I have peer coaches, and I participate in mastermind groups with folks who are doing what I want to be doing.
This is what keeps me on the upward trajectory I want to be on.
Authority: How to Align Your Work, Lifestyle, and Impact
And now I’ve created the coaching program that I wish I had been able to join years ago. You can learn more about this offering as well as how others have transformed their professional lives by simply clicking here.
Enjoy the program and thanks for listening.