Why Most Guys Stay Stuck in the Struggle
This is part 4 in a short series where we’re learning why most guys stay stuck on some plateau in life and why a rare few are able to level up. This is all included in the Authority Group Coaching Program that starts in October. You can learn more by clicking here.
Did you ever learn how to ride a bike?
Before you learned, did it seem damn near impossible? How could it be possible that someone could ride down the street on two skinny-ass tires? And how was it possible that the weird kid from the next street over could ride without any hands on the handlebars?
If you were like me you tried to learn to ride by starting on your own. One foot on the pedal. One on the ground. No momentum. Strain. Wobble. Fall. Repeat. Exhaustion. Frustration. Give up.
This is what I see so many guys doing when they’re trying to make a big change in their profession or life.
They put all of this effort to get going a tiny bit and then they stop. And by stopping they lose the most valuable part of the equation: momentum.
That stopping and starting is what creates the exhaustion. It has us create a story that leveling up must be exponentially harder. After all, if we’re struggling this hard just to do a little bit, how could it possibly be any easier to do more?
But if we remember the bike, we can see that momentum makes it easier to gain speed and eventually take your hands off of the bars. Momentum makes it easier to seemingly do the impossible.
So what’s the key to building momentum?
Consistency — that ability to stick with it. That ability to do a little bit everyday.
When I’m talking to a guy who wants to level up his profession or relationship I can tell he’s going to fail if he only does things up until the point he doesn’t feel like doing them anymore. This guy will stay stuck if he allows his moods or feelings to keep him from doing what’s best for him.
Are you an amateur or a pro?
This approach is what the “amateur” or hobbyist does — he lets his current mood betray his deeper knowing that he wants to grow and expand what has him feel alive, free, and purposeful. This kills momentum and sets him up to fail time and time again.
On the other end, the “pro” understands that getting started is sometimes the easy part. It’s staying in motion after the fun wears off that is more challenging. He expects the excitement to wear off and creates structures to keep him on track and accountable. He does what’s best for him whether he’s in the mood or not.
To snap my clients out of this “amateur” mindset, I like to challenge them to literally take a professional approach — which means I ask them what they would do if they were being paid a ridiculous amount to make this particular change happen. You can see the shift in their faces when they realize they would stop dicking around and do whatever it takes to get it done. You can see that they would get bold, take the lead, ask for help, and most importantly take consistent action.
This is just one of the reasons I created the Authority Coaching Group.
My Authority Coaching Group is designed to help you build momentum through consistency. Each week members create agreements with the group and are held accountable to follow through. There’s no more “talking the big talk” without backing it up. The group is designed so that you’ll experience the ease that comes with momentum and the peace of mind that comes from knowing you’re going to get this thing done.
Stay tuned. In the next chapter we’re going to talk about the simplest way to exponentially grow your power.