Is Average Bad? External Validation and Comparing Yourself to Others
Do ever you feel bad when you compare yourself to others?
Would you get pissed if someone called you “average”?
And what’s more important to you: being the best you can be or being better than someone else?
The Tools and Coming Alive co-author Barry Michels is back to discuss the trap of external validation. We’re going to talk about how trying to be better than others is an un-winnable game and how we can learn how to play our own game instead.
In this interview:
- Why seeking external validation through money, sex, and attention is an un-winnable game
- The difference between creating and getting
- What if you were to give up hope that you’ll ever get the external reward you want?
- The huge difference between being the best you can be vs being the best in the world (or industry, community, etc.)
- Why being average is so scary for so many
- How to tell if you’re being a “black hole” or a “sun”
- How to tell if you’re the icky sales guy (that creeps everyone out) or someone who inspires others
About Barry Michels
Barry Michels powered through his undergraduate studies at Harvard, went to law school at the University of California at Berkeley, and spent three years at a white-shoe law firm before disillusionment got the better of him. After a soul-searching time in Europe where he played guitar on street corners, he had a powerful spiritual experience and realized he wanted to be a therapist.
He returned home and got an MSW from the University of Southern California and began his psychotherapy practice in 1986. A few years later, still searching for a psychotherapeutic technique that would bring his patients true freedom, he attended a seminar held by Phil. Struck by Phil’s commitment to human potential and his unorthodox approach, he began to study with Phil and use The Tools with his patients.