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What is Self Leadership? Tripp Lanier and Alyson Lanier
Are you holding yourself back from the life and work you truly want?
Do your fears of rejection or going broke keep you playing small?
And would others think you were weird if they knew what truly lights you up?
Today, my wife Alyson challenges me to go big. In this conversation, she pushes me to be more transparent about the work I feel called to do, we explore what keeps me playing small, and you’ll hear why IFS founder Richard Schwartz probably won’t talk to me anymore.
In this interview:
- Frida Kahlo’s unibrow
- Tripp goes on a rant
- Being patient with your partner when they vent
- IFS and Richard Schwartz
- Tripp’s fears about going deeper with his work
- Does having a family keep you from being bold?
- Creating more alignment between your work and values
- What is Self Leadership?
- How is coaching different than therapy?
- Does your partner invite all of you into your relationship?
Click here for Tripp Lanier’s book This Book Will Make You Dangerous: The Irreverent Guide for Men Who Refuse to Settle.
About Alyson Lanier
Alyson Lanier is a guide, coach, mentor, asskicker, counselor, and teacher. She received her BA, MA, and LPC in psychology, and has extensive training and certification in attachment work and Gestalt therapy, Transpersonal psychology, and Shambhala Buddhism. She has over 50,000 hours of therapeutic experience with individuals, couples, families, children, and adolescents in clinical and private settings. Halfway through her second decade of working in clinical and trauma informed therapeutic settings, Alyson realized psychotherapy alone was incomplete. In order to better serve her clients, Alyson broadened her professional toolbox with trainings and certifications in somatic sex education, energy work and consciousness development, and Ancestral Medicine work, a lineage repair approach to healing personal, family, and cultural burdens.
Adding alternative and spiritual practices to her therapeutic offerings made sense for Alyson because her experience with animist traditions and supernatural encounters began at a very young age, and set the foundation for her life’s study and practice. Her encounters with other-than-human beings, Old World traditions, Shambhala Buddhist practice, and subtle energy work over the years have given her a unique and layered perspective that plants her feet firmly in seemingly antithetical worlds: clinical and transpersonal psychology; Eastern and Western philosophy; clinical diagnosis and energetic and spiritual traditions of healing. Alyson has learned to fully embrace this duality, and to use it to understand the lenses her clients are seeing through, how they’re metabolizing what’s coming through for them, and to lovingly stir shit up to help them level-up.
Alyson delights in supporting her clients as they navigate their growth processes on psychological, physical, energetic, and spiritual levels. Her knowledge of psychology, development, and integral, energetic, and somatic studies give her a centered gravity, and her formative experiences and practices give her a rare wisdom. Her passion and humor spring from a desire to make the sacred profane and the profane sacred. Alyson approaches her transformative work with creative and dynamic interventions, serving her clients and groups as if the world depends on the fulfillment they are seeking, because it most assuredly does.
For over a decade, Alyson has been married to Tripp Lanier (who is also a coach and the host of The New Man Podcast which has been downloaded millions of times by men and women all around the world). Together they have a daughter and live on the coast of North Carolina.