Commitment Issues: What Would Make You Excited to Commit? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

What would make you excited to commit to a relationship?

Are you afraid to set a high bar for someone because it may mean you’ll end up alone?

And what does it mean if you can’t stop nit-picking your partner?

In today’s coffee date, my wife Alyson and I recall the first phone conversation we ever had. She grilled me for hours about my values — or as she puts it, “What makes you kneel or bow?” We talk about the value of being radically honest early on and why being out of alignment on the big stuff dooms us to struggle with the small stuff.

In this conversation:

  • How Tripp and Alyson met
  • Being tired of the dating BS
  • Getting radically honest early in the relationship
  • What makes you kneel and bow?
  • What would you die for?


  • Being aligned on deeper values
  • Nit-picking the other person’s choices
  • Struggling with superficial relationships
  • When your partner is sleepwalking through life
  • Being able to solve problems

About Tripp Lanier

Tripp Lanier is a professional coach, author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and host of The New Man Podcast: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp which — for over a decade — has been downloaded millions of times.

Since 2005, he has spent thousands of hours coaching people all around the world to get out of the rat race, become an authority in their field, and make a great living doing the work they were put on this earth to do. Over the years he’s designed several businesses to support a simple lifestyle focused on freedom, ease, meaning, and fun.

If you’d like to learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit

About Alyson Lanier

Alyson Lanier is a multifaceted expert at the intersection of psychological and spiritual healing. With a 30 year career in Psychotherapy that includes a BA, MA, and LPC in psychology, Alyson supplemented her education with extensive training and certifications in attachment work, Gestalt therapy, Transpersonal psychology, Shambhala Buddhism, internal family systems, and Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy. Her professional journey encompasses over 50,000 hours of therapeutic experience working with individuals, couples, families, children, and adolescents across clinical and private settings.

If you’d like to learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit