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Attraction vs Compatibility: Why It Feels Like You Can’t Have Both
Why do some guys crave women who aren’t good for them?
Is the “nice girl” always boring — and the “bad girl” more fun?
And do we really need to put on an act just to make a relationship work?
Today, Alyson and I talk about something a lot of people wrestle with — feeling torn between who we’re attracted to and who’s actually a better fit. We explore why we often contort ourselves to be accepted, how that shapes attraction, and what to do if you feel like you have to choose between chemistry and connection.
In this conversation:
- Why we often separate “the one I’m attracted to” from “the one I respect”
- Tripp’s personal story of attraction, shame, and wholeness
- What to do when you’re sexually into someone who’s “bad news”
- How we unknowingly keep ourselves and our partners in a box
Plus:
- The power of truth over comfort in long-term love
- Steps toward accepting and expressing your whole self in dating
- What to ask yourself if you’re tired of the same old dating dynamic
- Why attraction shifts when we stop playing roles
About Tripp Lanier
Tripp Lanier is a professional coach, author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and host of The New Man Podcast: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp which — for over a decade — has been downloaded millions of times.
Since 2005, he has spent thousands of hours coaching people all around the world to get out of the rat race, become an authority in their field, and make a great living doing the work they were put on this earth to do. Over the years he’s designed several businesses to support a simple lifestyle focused on freedom, ease, meaning, and fun.
If you’d like to learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit TrippLanier.com.
About Alyson Lanier
Alyson Lanier is a multifaceted expert at the intersection of psychological and spiritual healing. With a 30 year career in Psychotherapy that includes a BA, MA, and LPC in psychology, Alyson supplemented her education with extensive training and certifications in attachment work, Gestalt therapy, Transpersonal psychology, Shambhala Buddhism, internal family systems, and Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy. Her professional journey encompasses over 50,000 hours of therapeutic experience working with individuals, couples, families, children, and adolescents across clinical and private settings.
If you’d like to learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit AlysonLanier.com
